Do you ever wonder what its like to be a bra? Like you get to just be warm and fondled all day.. Like a puppy.. Or a chair..

b0ngripz:

wrec:

unclefather:

wassupstyles:

What if your giving a bj in the shower and he just starts shampooing and conditioning your hair 

very polite

how thoughtful

What a good man

eunoir:

did you try turning it off and turning it back on again? and then did you re-sync it?

juiceboxkids:

too right

paulyoptosaurus:

msjewbooty:

paulyoptosaurus:

petition to remove the ‘d’ from wednesday 

wednesay

not what i had in mind but im flexible 

myreligioniskindness:

my brother tried to pick up a banana to make it look like he was talking on the phone but all the bananas in the bunch came with it and he just looked at me and went “i guess it’s a conference call”

brizzbee:

holy shit i was watching tv and christ

is it just me or does mitt romneys wife

look like the bride of chucky